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In reality TV land, an ultimatum makes for great drama: “Commit to me or lose me.” But in actual queer relationships, where vulnerability, identity, and power dynamics already run deep, ultimatums don’t work the way we wish they would.

You are allowed to be loved as a whole person — not just a helpful one, a low-maintenance one, or a put-together one.

If we’re serious about queer freedom—about safety, dignity, mental health, and joy—we must be just as serious about dismantling anti-Blackness in our communities, our movements, and ourselves.

Today, I want to get into the difference between emotional expression and emotional attack — and why learning the difference is the key to actually getting more of what you want out of your relationship (instead of slowly poisoning it because your sadness is wearing a bulletproof vest and your anger is wielding a knife).

You’ve identified that your parents aren’t sensitive to your needs, blame others rather than take accountability for their actions, are self-absorbed/have narcissistic tendencies, or are emotionally unpredictable in a way that leaves you with whiplash and feeling frazzled. Now what?

So what does it mean to be emotionally immature? And how do you know if you had emotionally immature parents? Here are some key signs.

Healing happens in the presence of emotionally responsive and caring relationships. Reclaim your time, your energy, and your sense of self.

Your existence is a truth that does not rely on recognition, permission, or societal approval.

Choosing yourself in the face of dysfunction isn’t just self-preservation; it’s an act of quiet rebellion against a system that demanded you