Beating the Bystander Effect: How To Be a Better Ally

You’ve probably heard of the Bystander Effect in some capacity. It’s the idea that the more people who are present, the less likely an individual is to act to intervene. This isn’t due to a lack of care, but rather a belief that someone else will intervene. 

Individuals might feel like there is less responsibility to act when there are many present. Some fall victim to social ambiguity and go along with the crowd, ignoring acts of violence, discrimination, or aggression because no one else is responding and they don’t want to be the outlier. And not to be forgotten, many worry about the risk to themselves when intervening and any judgement they will incur. 

Though LGBTQIA+ rights are being attacked more publicly in today’s world, many of us would label ourselves as trans allies, whether we are also members of the queer community or not. If you’ve stumbled across this page, I’m going to take a leap and assume you’re open to being trans-affirming. 

While many populations can experience targeted attacks, it is more important than ever to address the growing safety concerns for our trans community.

What happened last week at a Raleigh gay bar involving physical assault on a trans woman was met with a crowd of inaction. The victim, a local drag queen, shared that the most traumatizing part of her experience was the lack of bystander interference. Many have posted resources for local businesses who want to help train their staff to protect trans patrons and staff, but this leaves many of us wondering what we can do on an individual level to make our community safer. 

Luckily, there are ways we can interfere at varying levels of direct confrontation. Strategies for intervention range from passive to more direct and it’s important to choose the one that works best for you! Common bystander intervention tactics can be boiled down to 5-D’s that we’ll briefly touch on for you to keep as a pocket guide.

Direct - Actively tell the person causing harm to stop and ask if the perceived victim is okay. This is a more involved tactic, but the most effective for immediate safety concerns. If you are uncomfortable intervening directly, Delegate may be a better option for you. This involves getting someone else to help like a manager or security guard, or even someone nearby who may be more comfortable stepping in. If you want to help, but are not comfortable getting directly involved in the confrontation, you can attempt to Distract by creating a diversion to distract the person causing harm so the victim can get away. 

If you are more comfortable being an ally or advocate in the wake of the attack, you can still assist by Documenting everything you see. Whether you take notes or a video/pictures, know that your testimony could help support the harmed party later. And lastly, if you are not comfortable with any of the other options due to your own fear or lack of safety, you can Delay. This involves checking on the person who was attacked and making sure they get the care they need, even if you wordlessly sit by their side so they are not alone. 

If you see someone in an unsafe situation it is your responsibility to act in some way, to the best of your ability. That creates a safer community for everyone involved and our actions speak louder than our words. Let’s make sure that our allyship is not lost in a sea of well-intentioned but ultimately empty promises.

TLDR; True allies will act in crisis to defend trans community members, not watch passively and allow further harm to occur. This is everyone’s responsibility whether they are part of the community or not!